The dream…

Recently I’ve been reflecting on the process Susan and I have been in concerning the dream God put in her heart several years ago and how it’s beginning to unfold. Her dream is to have a property with trees, hopefully near water, with a house for us to live in, and a cottage where we could host people on sabbatical or missionaries in town for a visit.

I would love to say that I’ve always been about Susan’s dreams and engaging them with passion. Unfortunately that’s just not true. Most or our married life has been about pursuing the dreams in my heart and Susan has typically been supportive and a key player in seeing those dreams fulfilled. For years I just assumed my dreams were her dreams too! My thinking went something like this, “Well, Susan’s not really a dreamer and I’ve got enough vision for 5 people so she can just latch onto the stuff I come up with and she will find plenty of fulfillment there.”

I know, I know, so lame…but nevertheless, it was what I thought.

The truth is that my dreams were pretty satisfying for her, the first half of our marriage. We moved our family to Hong Kong and travelled all over China meeting interesting people and engaging cultures we never knew existed. We moved home and planted a church that has been one of the great adventures of our lives. In the midst of all of that we raised a family, started a non-profit business, and traveled the world. What more could she want???

But these were my dreams. Brewing deep inside her was a dream that was birthed in the depths of her heart. A dream that was about her passions and formed from her own creativity and giftings.

So, over the last 2 years I’ve been on a quest; a quest to find a place that fit the dream. I’ve looked at more properties in our area than I can remember. We’ve looked at empty lots, existing houses, considered building the dream at my parent’s house but nothing ever seemed quite right. Then, a few weeks ago I was driving by a neighborhood and saw a for sale sign. This neighborhood is an area I would have never considered before because the homes are so expensive. The properties are immaculate and all of them are large in size. I felt prompted to drive down the street and just see what was there. At the end of this private drive I found the house for sale. It needs a little work but it sits on 1 acre, has a beautiful pond out back, a nice house, and a building in the back that could be converted to a cottage for guests. Susan loves it!

We are supposed to close on September 28th.ย Last Friday we put our house on the market and by Monday we had had 6 lookers and 4 offers! I think the dream is “ripe”!

It’s difficult for me to describe how excited I am. It’s been so fun to use the best of me (gifts, talents, passions) to pursue Susan’s dream rather than my own. Of course, in the process, it’s become my dream too but it’s different. I think of Mechanics who work on everyone else’s car but their wife’s car is falling apart or accountants whose family finances are in disarray. I know I’ve been that guy at times in the past and I don’t want to be anymore. I don’t want to be so busy helping other people fulfill their dreams that I neglect helping my wife fulfill hers.

All I can say is, “This feels really good!”

About keithspurgin

Just a guy with a great wife, fantastic kids, good friends and a really big God!
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10 Responses to The dream…

  1. Desiree Simmons says:

    Hi Keith,
    I loved your blog. Everything about Susan’s dream just fits her to a T! Thanks for the honesty. My step-son really wants to attend Baylor University. Sure would be fun to visit you guys while on a college visit, Texas is such a small state! ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Mark Stevenson says:

    This is exciting! And you’re really moving out in it, that’s impressive. It makes me wonder what other dreams Susan has…

  3. Josh Tilford says:

    Keith, this is really great and I appreciate you sharing some of your process. I married a dreamer, and so in the few months we’ve been married, I myself have been challenged to quiet my own dreams at times in order to listen to hers. Definitely more to learn!

    • keithspurgin says:

      You’re getting an early start Josh. I never considered much of this until my forties. The fact that you are even thinking this way so early in your marriage is going to bode well for the coming years. Kelly seems like an amazing girl and I’m sure you are her biggest champion!

  4. The support and contributions you are providing Susan to bring this wonderful dream to reality are precious and priceless. May you and Susan have many blessings in the coming years. Hugs to you both.

  5. Paul Killion says:

    Thank you Keith for sharing this story and being so open. It will help me in my quest to turn my ok relationship with into a great relationship. Two years age ago I told Kim I no longer am going to go through the motion of marriage, I told it has to be great or we need to quit. Well after a three month seperation last year we are better than we’ve been in 27 years. Her the past August 24th I planned and pulled off a celebration of her birthday. I celebrated her and envolved all her kids it was great. She told me she doesnt like to celebrate her birthday and I softly

    said, your not suppose to other are to celebrate you, the mom, the wife, the daughter and the grandmother .

    So this year well be filled with me planning next years celebration of
    my beautiful wife. I will celebrste her for 365 days leading up to hrr next birthday and every year from now on.
    Your story gave me an idea to increase my celebration of her life and thst is to find out her deepest dream and work to make it come to life. Thank you for your heart snd leadership Keith your friend Paul

    • keithspurgin says:

      Thanks Paul. It’s not easy being a husband but it’s so fun to see their eyes come to life and their joy spill over once in a while when we actually get it right…I love it!

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