Recently I’ve been reflecting on the process Susan and I have been in concerning the dream God put in her heart several years ago and how it’s beginning to unfold. Her dream is to have a property with trees, hopefully near water, with a house for us to live in, and a cottage where we could host people on sabbatical or missionaries in town for a visit.
I would love to say that I’ve always been about Susan’s dreams and engaging them with passion. Unfortunately that’s just not true. Most or our married life has been about pursuing the dreams in my heart and Susan has typically been supportive and a key player in seeing those dreams fulfilled. For years I just assumed my dreams were her dreams too! My thinking went something like this, “Well, Susan’s not really a dreamer and I’ve got enough vision for 5 people so she can just latch onto the stuff I come up with and she will find plenty of fulfillment there.”
I know, I know, so lame…but nevertheless, it was what I thought.
The truth is that my dreams were pretty satisfying for her, the first half of our marriage. We moved our family to Hong Kong and travelled all over China meeting interesting people and engaging cultures we never knew existed. We moved home and planted a church that has been one of the great adventures of our lives. In the midst of all of that we raised a family, started a non-profit business, and traveled the world. What more could she want???
But these were my dreams. Brewing deep inside her was a dream that was birthed in the depths of her heart. A dream that was about her passions and formed from her own creativity and giftings.
So, over the last 2 years I’ve been on a quest; a quest to find a place that fit the dream. I’ve looked at more properties in our area than I can remember. We’ve looked at empty lots, existing houses, considered building the dream at my parent’s house but nothing ever seemed quite right. Then, a few weeks ago I was driving by a neighborhood and saw a for sale sign. This neighborhood is an area I would have never considered before because the homes are so expensive. The properties are immaculate and all of them are large in size. I felt prompted to drive down the street and just see what was there. At the end of this private drive I found the house for sale. It needs a little work but it sits on 1 acre, has a beautiful pond out back, a nice house, and a building in the back that could be converted to a cottage for guests. Susan loves it!
We are supposed to close on September 28th. Last Friday we put our house on the market and by Monday we had had 6 lookers and 4 offers! I think the dream is “ripe”!
It’s difficult for me to describe how excited I am. It’s been so fun to use the best of me (gifts, talents, passions) to pursue Susan’s dream rather than my own. Of course, in the process, it’s become my dream too but it’s different. I think of Mechanics who work on everyone else’s car but their wife’s car is falling apart or accountants whose family finances are in disarray. I know I’ve been that guy at times in the past and I don’t want to be anymore. I don’t want to be so busy helping other people fulfill their dreams that I neglect helping my wife fulfill hers.
All I can say is, “This feels really good!”